...the amazing heartbeats of our beautiful baby girl!!!!
Brian and I are simply overjoyed to announce that we will be welcoming a special blessing into our family this summer!! We are over the moon in love with our sweet baby and so happy to share this news with the world!
Our new favorite photo of Baby Bell at 20.5 weeks. :)
This baby is a precious gift and the answer to years of countless prayers, tears, loss and enduring hope. I’d love to share a bit of our journey with you. Not to compare or gain pity, but to shine an amazing light on how God has moved in our lives over the past 4 years and delivered us through some of the darkest trials I’ve ever known; as a testimony to God’s unending faithfulness and love even when life falls apart.
Brian and I have been married for almost 6 years. I couldn't have been blessed with a more perfect man for me and thank the Lord every day for placing him in my life to have to do life together. He exudes patience, love, strength and grace and gives me the best hugs on the hardest days. We have the sweetest 2 year old golden retriever puppy, Ellie, who has the most sensitive and loving spirit. She is going to be the best big sister! :)
Our little family has been faced with many challenges and difficult days but they have become a very important part of who we are and how God has shaped us. Brian and I have always had a heart for children and desire to be parents. And, I have always felt like one of my deep seeded purposes in life is to be a mom. For the past 4 years, we have struggled through infertility and loss. I had a feeling it wouldn't be easy for us to get pregnant as my hormone levels have never truly been balanced. So, after trying for over a year, we decided to see an OB and decided to start medication treatment. The night before I was to start the meds, I decided to take a pregnancy test (you know, just in case). Well, we were very surprised to find out in August of 2010 that we were expecting a baby. We were thrilled and so very thankful! Sadly, in October, 2010 we found out we had lost our baby. I spent the next couple weeks miscarrying and grieving all while working full time in therapy and pretending like I wasn't falling apart when inside I was completely devastated. No one talks about how difficult and trying miscarriage is on a marriage. Brian and I both had different ways of grieving and difficulty understanding what the other was experiencing. How do you explain feeling pregnant and then one day waking up and it’s gone and so is your baby?
Through countless doctor appointments, treatments and tears we were able to get pregnant again this past August and this time we were both able to see the baby and hear the heartbeat at 7 weeks. It was simply beautiful and a memory of our second baby that we will cherish forever. Sadly, at our 10 week appointment, we found out that our baby's heartbeat had stopped and we had lost another child. “They” say two miscarriages is “common” (as if that is to be comforting); to me it just felt unbearable. I still struggle to find the words to describe how horrific that day and following days/weeks were but I do remember thinking that I wasn't going to survive this alone. Praise the Lord that He never leaves us! Even when I have trouble feeling Him near, I trust He is there and was the One who carried us through those dark days. I also trust that our babies are in a better more beautiful place with our Jesus who loves them, and I can't wait for the day when I will get to hold them again, this time in my arms.
Brian and I decided to just stop treatments and trying for a while, thinking that maybe there was a different plan for us. We went away on an anniversary trip about a month after the loss of our baby and 7 weeks later received the BIGGEST little SURPRISE :) I wish I could say that my initial thought when we found out we were expecting again was excitement....I was actually terrified that I was going to loss the baby; that is all I’ve known. So, I prayed ALOT...every day, hour, minute. I let go of control and we took it one day at a time. And PRAISE THE LORD we will be at 24 weeks on Monday and have been able to hear, see and feel our precious baby!! We had an ultrasound at 20.5 weeks and found out that we are expecting a healthy, very active, little girl! It was the most beautiful and surreal moment that I never wanted to end.
We are so very thankful for this life and the gift that she is to us and the world! Now, close to 24 weeks and with the sweet flutters of our little baby inside, we feel very blessed and feel everything we’ve been though has helped us to grow stronger in our marriage and in our faith and has given us great insight into how truly precious life is. We’ve learned to appreciate each day we are given as a beautiful gift! And we view our story as just one testimony to how amazing and faithful is our God!
Baby and me at 21 weeks :)
I know that some reading this may be experiencing an infertility journey and hold losses of your own and that everyone’s journey is different, some shorter, some longer. But, my prayer is that if you are reading this, that you would be encouraged to know that you are not alone and that God is good and knows the desires of your heart. While, He doesn’t always deliver us from trials, He always delivers us through them. I've also learned that God is full of amazing surprises :)
Thank you to all our amazing family and friends for your unending love, prayers and support! We are so very thankful for everyone who has walked with us and continue to as we excitedly look forward to welcoming this little one into the world!
Much Love & Hugs,